Read an excerpt from Ellen's latest column in Autism Asperger's Digest
Download a PDF of Ellen's cover story, "Too Soon" from Ancestry Magazine. [1.9 mb]
Welcome to Ellen’s archive. Pull up a comfortable chair (but keep that coffee away from the keyboard!).
Editors: most articles listed herein are available for reprint. Please contact me for manuscripts not available on the site, or for original articles to fit your needs.
Readers, all: Browse and enjoy – but please respect that all material is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced, in print or on the Web, without author permission.
And do let me hear from you: cheering, booing or just wondering.
Autism Articles
Geneology and Family History
General Interest
Selected Parenting Articles
TEN THINGS EVERY CHILD WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW
The article that inspired the award winning book by the same title
TEN THINGS YOUR STUDENT WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW
The article that inspired the award winning book by the same title
DON’T UNBUNDLE ME
What is the first thing you should do when your child is diagnosed with autism? Keep breathing – and after that, continue to see him as a whole child who cannot be “unbundled.”
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOUR (NEW) FRIENDS
Friendship is supposed to be a reciprocal relationship based on this: caring. If your friends have no curiosity about what makes your child with autism tick, and have no inclination to make even small accommodations to include him and you in their circle, it may be time to get yourself some new friends.
STORM TROOPERS: A Team Approach to Handling Meltdowns
Meltdowns are frequently part of the landscape when you have a child with autism in your classroom or home. Understanding that this behavior is almost certainly a result of a sensory or emotional overload, not deliberate or malicious sabotage, is the first step toward constructive handling of a meltdown. Having a plan in place when one hits is essential to minimizing the impact of these events to both child and environment, whether classroom or home.
LEARNING TO SAY ‘SORRY’: Encouraging the development of empathy
It seems like it should be such a simple thing, teaching your child or student to say “I’m sorry” when an apology is called for. But truly understanding the nature of an apology and being able to deliver one sincerely requires a level of social competence. Breaking that “simple” apology down to understandable increments goes a long way in helping our child with autism understand and apply this critical interpersonal skill.
Asperger’s Explained
Asperger's is sometimes referred to as "high-functioning" autism. As with any "invisible" disability, too many children with Asperger's slip through these cracks. Watch for these possible indicators.
Postcards from the Road Less Traveled
Accepting and celebrating your child with autism; tools for the long journey ahead.
The Little High School that Does
Ellen’s son, the inimitable Bryce, embarks on the adventure of high school at Thomas A. Edison High School, a remarkable school focused on different learners.
My Can-do Kid
“I can ace a multiple-choice test, but I can’t change the oil in my car or cook myself dinner.” A lament from a real-life high school senior has Ellen reflecting on how Bryce’s “rigid” behavior was the key to developing independent living skills.
All’s Fair?
Instilling the amorphous, intangible concept of “fair” to our concrete-thinking children with ASD goes far beyond who got two more French fries.
Three Little Words
We all long to hear “I love you” from our children, but it was a number of other three-word phrases and the actions that accompanied them that really imprinted the message on the hearts of Ellen’s boys.
We Walk Before We Run
Everyone has to learn to walk before they can run. It’s a simple truth but it often falls apart when we go to frame our hopes for our child’s future. The diagnosis of autism seems to come with a fast-forward button that makes us leap light years ahead, wondering will he ever - go to college, hold a job, marry, be a parent. These questions are extremely important, but the hours we spend fretting about the “can he/will he” issues years from today are far better spent in the here and now. The future we envision for our children is built one step at a time, in thoughtful, patient, and well-planned increments, not “break-throughs” or miracles.
Right on the Money
Your autism fundraiser is a success. Now, where will those dollars do the most good?
The Other Intelligence: the social side of autism
Throughout a child’s education, he will be tested to gnat’s eye on reading, writing, math and other supposedly measurable gauges of his learning and growth. But it’s likely that much less emphasis will be placed on his social and emotional intelligence. And social and emotional intelligence is very possibly a bigger determinant in your child’s long term success in life than cognitive intelligence.
ART-ful Teaching for Different Learners
Art can be a wonderful, expressive medium for all children, but for those who have language, emotional or neurological challenges, art activities can be especially meaningful. Explore your child or student’s art potential with these these creative ideas come from art therapists and paraeducators.
Idioms and Metaphors and Things that Go Bump in Their Heads
Helping language challenged children decipher the nutty English language.
The Difference Between Heaven and Earth
Embracing the true meaning of unconditional love amid the challenges of raising your special needs child.
The Rules of Believing
More than raw ability or knowledge, whether or not your child "can do it" has more to do with what you truly believe of him -- and how you communicate it.
When Pooh Won’t Do: Twelve Tricks to Choosing Books for Concrete Thinkers and Visual
Dr Seuss may be wubbulous, but fantastical creatures and nonsense words are lost on the concrete thinker.
Real Animals Don’t Talk: Nurturing a Book Lover When Fantasy Isn’t Part of His Reality
Expanded version of article above, with author’s personal “detective” methods and suggested reading list. An Autism Asperger’s Digest cover story.
More than 20 of Ellen’s autism essays not listed here are collected in her 2007 book The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled
ForeWord Book of the Year finalist
Eric Hoffer Book Award finalist
A TOMBSTONE TELLS ITS STORY [PDF]
My story about the 1893 murder of a police officer that outraged an entire county and reverberated for decades sprang from a chance encounter with a very unusual tombstone.
THEN AND NOW: ISLAND PARK, MAYVILLE, NORTH DAKOTA [PDF]
First in a new series, take two looks – 1908 and 2008 – at a beautiful city park in a small North Dakota college town, photographed during my travels last summer.
WITH BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND [PDF]
There is nothing like the magic of “being there.” Unforgettable experiences unfold when you answer the call from another time and put your feet on the ground your ancestors called home.
EMMA’S UNMARKED REST [PDF]
How the death of a beloved firstborn baby reveal’s a family’s struggles and the story behind the “potter’s field.” Download PDF from Ancestry Magazine
LITTLE BOY FOUND
The fantastic voyage of a 111-year-old tombstone ends where it began. A child's tombstone is fished out of a river 60 years after his death and remains unclaimed for another half-century. A true-life history detective story about Ellen's search to find the rightful home of a stone memorializing one whose life was over too soon.
TOO SOON
A family's loss of a 20-year-old WWII Navy aviator resonates across six decades. The common thread to all such stories is their ability to overwhelm us with sadness. When relatives leave us too soon, a special responsibility passes to us as family historians -- to tell the story and bear witness to a life that mattered perhaps all the more because of its brevity. Download PDF from Ancestry Magazine [1.9 mb]
MY NAVY BLUE HAWAII [PDF]
A free trip to Hawaii has deeper meaning. A follow-up to Too Soon. Download PDF
IN SPELCHEK WE DON'T TRUST
Love it or hate it, Spelchek is here to stay. But woe unto those whose faith is blind! Spelchek will not save you when your flying fingers add ‘double garbage’ to the new home description instead of ‘double garage,’ or when you tell the boss you ‘hate to talk to him’ rather than ’have to talk to him.’ And Spelchek, far far being a genealogist’s friend, can seen downright hostile.
UNBUNDLE ME: Writer’s craft ripe for ala carte capitalism
Writers should take their cue from the airlines and start charging for extras like punctuation and vowels!
LOOK OUT COLLEGE, HERE I COME – OR NOT
Not all students are ready for a four-year college right out of high school. Here’s what to look for in gauging your teen’s readiness.
BOOK MORE GOODER THEN TV (**Readers' favorite). What books don't have, and really deserve, is someone out there relentlessly selling the sizzle for 'em, like TV. What a bumper sticker campaign that could inspire!
C IS FOR CURMUDGEON
Celebrate the Oscar in all of us! Deep inside every loving, patient, soul lurks an inner grouch longing to be free.
THE DEATH OF TREATS
Candy used to be a "treat;" now it's everywhere. Candy isn't dandy at our current rates of consumption -- it's the newest form of substance abuse.
The Death of Treats, Part 2: MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE:
How did soda become the #1 beverage in this country, something so many "can't live without," and what are the consequences?
END OF LIFE DECISIONS: WHAT I DID FOR LOVE. Difficult though they may be, making end of life decisions and prearrangements is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give your family.
FOOD MOODS
We really are what we eat. How food choices affect your child's behavior.
GIVE ME A HEAD WITH HAIR:
Surviving chemotherapy,surviving breast cancer
“Of all the turbulent aspects of the cancer experience, one for which I was not prepared was how traumatic it would be to lose my hair.” A breast cancer survivor's honest and painful story of a little-discussed side of a devastating illness.
HOLY COW!: Fun with Animal Idioms
Ever wonder where some of those funny little expressions come from? The cat is out of the bag in this fun run-down on idioms about our furred and feathered friends.
I'M A ROCK 'N' ROLL FOSSIL
"Are you from the olden days?" asks your child. "Like when the Beatles were still alive?" True story! How old are you in rock 'n' roll years? Readers from across the country confess.
A MANNER OF SPEAKING
In the hush of a medical waiting room, a father with a cell phone as his weapon violates his daughter's privacy in appalling manner. When the ill-mannered behavior of their elders envelops them, how are today's children to learn anything better?
MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (**Editors' favorite)
Confessions of a reluctant gardener, bucking the tide of societal green thumbs.
YOU OTTER HAVE A TOTEM. Animal spirit guides have much to teach us about living in today's frenetic world. What is a totem, why you need one, how to choose one.
ENCOURAGING HOME READING. School year assignment or summer recreation: how to motivate a reluctant reader.
INDEPENDENCE DAY: Guiding your special needs child to adulthood. An enlightening list of action items whose do's far outweigh the don'ts.
THE KINDEST CUT: Ten tips for happier haircuts, from a kid-loving stylist with 20 years "behind the chair." Sidebar with tricks for easier home shampoos.
THE OFF-SITE VOLUNTEER: Making a difference -- on your own schedule
ON THE ROAD AGAIN: Stay connected to your child when you have to be away.
PLAY BALL! WHAT EVERY TEENAGE UMPIRE WANTS YOU TO KNOW by Connor Notbohm and Ellen Notbohm
POTTY ON! Finally out of diapers? Tips for acclimating to public restrooms.
THE RELUCTANT ATHLETE: Easy PE adaptations for home and school How to encourage the lesser-skilled child in a manner that promotes success and self-esteem.
SAFE WITHIN THE THUNDERSTORM: Contract for a new teen driver. Call me a safety freak, but our son was required to sign a contract with us in exchange for driving privileges.
SPECIAL CHILD, SPECIAL OCCASION: Tips for happier weddings, parties, reunions and other celebrations with kids.
STAYING IN THE GAME
This is the story of a young boy's odyssey through and beyond youth baseball, the abrupt end of a great playing career, and how his gentle grandpa and a long-dead pitcher guided his path to the other side of the plate. An umpire is born.
WINNING THE BREAKFAST WARS
Make peace with your breakfast-hating youngster.
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©2009 Ellen Notbohm | Third Variation Strategies, L.L.C.